Someone told me today that I should be praying for a miracle for Logan: that God will grow him a new kidney. I've heard this a few times. I don't quite understand it. I've also heard that I have no faith because I don't pray for God to grow Logan a new kidney. I have plenty of faith. I know that if God wanted to grow Logan a new kidney, he could do it. I know that if it was his plan, he would do it. For Logan I pray that God's will be done but that I'd really love it if he would keep Logan on Earth here with us.
What I told her today was, God has already given us a miracle. He kept Logan alive when no one thought he would make it. He's kept Logan alive despite all the horrible, scary odds. He's made Logan's brain work well and he's made him strong enough to walk despite the odds. God has given us a miracle. Miracles come in all shapes and forms.
My cousin's good friend lost her son due to multiple organ failure. He was under a year old when he died and he had already had more pain in his little life than most people ever have. When he died, I thought his mom was rather cold as she hardly cried. This was pre Logan. What she told my cousin was that the hard part was before, watching her son suffer, this was the easy part. God's miracle in her life was that she was able to maintain her faith despite horrible circumstances. Did she not have faith? She has more faith than most people I know. Yet, she still lost her son. But, she knew her son was in a much better place and that she will see him again someday.
Which brings me to another point. Prayer. When God doesn't answer our prayer exactly how we would like it, is he not listening? He is listening it's just that sometimes the answer is, "no." God sees the bigger picture while we only see a small, small window. God has a plan in our lives. And God's plan is always much, much better than any plan we could have ever devised, even when we can't see it at the time.
Last year when I lost my grandma and Logan went on dialysis I felt like God was punishing me. I've since realized that I wasn't being punished. God knew I couldn't take care of both of them. He also knew that Grandma was ready to go home to him and to her husband. While I NEVER would have planned for her memorial service to be where I got the life changing dialysis call, God knew what was best for me--even when I had no clue. Which now brings me to my favorite Bible verse of the year, also our focus verse at church.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice. Let your gentleness be known
everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to
God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:47
While I know this Bible verse was not hand picked for me by either God or our church, I really feel like it fits well with my life this year. It reminds me to be patient because lately I have an issue with patience. It reminds me to pray and then have peace that God will answer my prayer. God will answer my prayer in the way that follows his plan. And THAT is the miracle in my life.
Wiring Diagram Switch
2 years ago

6 comments:
This brought me to tears momma! (((((((((Jessica an family)))))))))
I love you and your MIRACLE Logan! Keep the faith my friend!
God answers prayers in one of three ways--direct, delayed, or denied--and each one is an answer, even id it's not what we asked for. His ways are so far above our ways, and the only thing we're asked to do is trust Him.
I'll be praying for you and your family. I can't imagine having a sick child. It just breaks my heart for you.
i have to say i agree. i'm new to your site, but i understand the faith issues. i was told so many times that lia would be healed in a couple of *days*, that i had no faith b/c i didn't feel like i could pray any more. that i should just be grateful. that God would/will miraculously heal her lungs with just prayer and no intervention.
i believe God uses the hands of men to heal our bodies. medicine was invented with a reason. God gave people the inclination and the energy and intellect to come up with new ways to keep our bodies alive.
he is a miracle. he is a gift.
Thank you for visiting my blog! I LOVED this post. I like what you shared from/about the grieving mom. It's so hard to explain but one of the things i"ve realized is that, knowing I could have chosen to turn from God after losing Seth, God STILL gave us this sweet baby.. What an honor that we were chosen to parent that special little boy!!
I miss him EVERY day.. but I realized one day that i used to say "He deserved better" and truthfully, Seth has the Best!!
Okay, now i"ve rambled.. Hugs to you! Praying for your family.
Oh Jess... I had a similar comment made to me by my Aidan's great grandma...she also told me at one point she didn't want to see Aidan after the cardiac arrest until God had healed him fully. I was so upset and needless to say she didn't see him for a few months after the arrest.
I know that God is listening and if he wasn't Aidan wouldn't be here and he would have taken him that night. Aidan and Logan are here for greater things. I am amazed at how little people know about kidney failure and that it happens to anyone not just old people or druggies.
God will find Logan a kidney soon and hopefully it is perfect. I can't wait for you guys! Also the story about the country club cracks me up! Aidan did that once to my sister in Wal Mart. It was the first time I let her watch him (she is a nurse and a damn good one) so Shawn and I could go out. She texted me and then told me she couldn't stop laughing about it for days.
Give Logan a big hug from me!
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