Hospital pics

the boys visiting at the hospital
Logan trying to sit up like a big boy
the little girl is Cristian's "girl friend" Jocelyn--both he and Jaden and Cesar have the biggest crush on her
the boys sharing a milk shake
on the way home we stopped to eat at King's Inn--they have the most fabulous catfish and shrimp and it's pretty scenic too, perfect for pics.

Where to begin

Cristian, Jaden, and their friend from the Ronald McDonald House, Cesar (he's Cristian's bestfriend--he has leukemia) They were so happy to see each other. Logan just before his surgery--they couldn't find a vein so they had to put it in his head, he actually prefers it there though so it doesn't get in his way.
After surgery, with all his tubes and everything-- poor little guy. The first time I saw everything I gasped a bit and felt sick from the pain he must be going through. He took it like a champ though, never even cried, it breaks my heart.
Look how puffy he was, it took forever for him to get rid of all the extra fluids.
He LOVED this blanket while in the hospital.

Well, so much has happened in the month since I last blogged. I have no clue where to even begin. I guess I can start at the somewhat beginning. The last week in June Logan got sick with a stomach bug. On the 30th he started looking kind of bad again so I took him to the ER and he was hospitalized for fluids. My mom had met me at the hospital and went to my house to relieve Vidal in the morning so he could go to work. When she went in to get my grandma up, my grandma was unresponsive. She called an ambulance and sent the kids to my neighbor's. At the hospital they ran a lot of tests and found that she had a massively bad UTI. She got it from the rehab she had just come home from the week before. Logan got home from the hospital Tuesday afternoon and my mom called me to come up to the hospital Tuesday night because grandma was in bad shape. The hospital had completely ignored my mom's pleas for help with her breathing--until it was too late. When I got there they were just about to take her up to ICU and in the morning they had to intubate her. The next day she wasn't showing any signs of brain activity and so we had them turn the machines off. We sat with her until after she passed on and we sang to her and talked to her and held her hand. It was one of the hardest times in my life but I'm truly glad I was able to be with her and help her through. I still have trouble believing that she's gone. The next few days were kind of a blur and I pretty much stayed in bed with Logan and slept and nursed him and cried. Her memorial service was on a Tuesday. It was beautiful and our pastor did a great job with the service. I was able to get up and speak without losing it. While walking out of the service when everyone was starting to leave, I got a call I recognized as being from Driscoll Children's Hospital. As soon as I saw the number, I knew what it was about. Dr Al-Akash confirmed what I already knew and said Logan would need to head up for surgery soon to begin the process for dialysis. I was freaking with fear and grief for both Logan and Grandma. At one point I walked into my kitchen and couldn't figure out when the walkway between the cabinets got so close together. I tried to push my fridge back and realized that they were in their normal position, I was just losing it. We had to leave the next day to take Logan to a drs appt with Al-Akash. There he said he actually didn't have to move for dialysis though we will have lots of visits to Corpus in our future. The next day Logan started throwing up in the morning. I was never so happy that we were already being admitted to the hospital since they started fluids right away and got him rehydrated. He had surgery on Friday morning and it seemed to take forever! Really it was only about 2 hours. When your baby is in surgery that darn clock doesn't ever move. The surgery was successful but he had come down with a stomach virus so our stay was extended. Logan just LOVES that darn hospital. So, now he is fed 10 hrs at night through the feeding tube and then nurses ad lib all day and sometimes even at night while the pump is running. I HATE pumping! Anyway, we now have a hurricane headed our way. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I don't see it being horrible. I still can't believe grandma is gone. Almost every morning I get up to try to get her out of bed and I save bags to put her diapers in but she isn't here and I rush to be home by 4 for the daycare but they aren't coming and I miss her so much. My life just isn't the same without her. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long. Part of me keeps thinking that she's just on vacation at my mom's and I guess she is on vacation--just not at my mom's. I know she was ready though. I feel it with everything in me. It's so hard and sad for me and Vidal and the kids but for her--it was a happy day. I know that she is dancing in Heaven and eating her chocolate cake and peanut butter sandwiches. Logan starts dialysis in a few weeks so we'll be gone for training for a week or two. But, after the move and that hopefully things will settle back out and we can have a few peaceful weeks. I'll try to post pictures soon, after the storm has passed.


---edited to add--I forgot to post that Logan now weighs 12 lbs 8 oz. He's weighed the same thing for like the last month but hopefully that will change in the near future.

Growth hormone

Logan started his growth hormone today. It went really well. He didn't even cry or anything. Pretty soon he will be little baby Hulk. Oddly, they sent my friend Lori from nursing school to do the teaching on the med. It was really cool since I hadn't seen her since her youngest was born 18 months ago.

week 16 (can't believe he's 16 weeks!)

I figure I might as well start this baby journal thing I get sent every week so here goes.

what has surprised you most about being a parent?

--This time around what has surprised me most (for the third time) is the fierce love that I have for this child. I mean, I know that I love my children on a daily basis but sometimes I forget the fact that they are a huge blessing in my life. Sometimes I take them for granted and what has surprised me is how strong we can be for our children. When they told me Logan might very well die I cried for about a minute, sitting on the hospital bed in the ER, holding Logan, telling Vidal that our son might not make it. But then I got it together so that I could be strong for him. I knew right then that he needed me to talk to him and reassure him, even if he couldn't understand. I prayed and let go. Looking back, it is a really painful memory. Vidal told me later on that he just felt so helpless because he couldn't come to the hospital since he had my grandma and the boys. Why I didn't call my dad and tell him to get his butt to my house to watch his mother, I have no clue. One would think it would have been the most logical thing so that Vidal could have been with his dying son but the thought never occurred to anyone. Anyway, I hope that I never again take for granted what a huge blessing our children are in our lives and how quickly that can be taken away.

Logan laughing and this is the last "pic" of him while his tummy was plain.

Random pics from today

Me and my boys.

my ninos.

My smiley boy on the bathroom floor (hence the towel).

Tia Pancha's 90th

These pics were taken on the same day. If I had known they would be the last pictures of Grandma ever taken I would have taken more. : ( She went out without a wrinkle. Two and a half months later and I still miss her like it was yesterday. This day she had a break through and was sitting up so straight and was kissing the baby and the boys. These were taken Sunday, she came home Thursday, was unresponsive Monday morning and died Thursday afternoon--just about exactly a week from coming home from the hospital. She told me a few days before we brought her home that she wanted to go home. Those were some of the first words she spoke after her stroke and her last words to ever speak--she repeated it twice--begging me with her eyes. That Thursday that we took her home I asked her is she was ready to go home and she said shook her head no. She didn't want to go home to our home--she wanted to go home to her new home.

Love you Grandma

Tia Pancha on her 90th Birthday. : )

The Grandpas and Baby Julian (a month younger than Logan) and Logan.

My boys, Vidal's cousin Ivan, and Baby Ivan (Julian's big brother).

My SIL Daniella and Jaden.

Today was Vidal's aunt, Tia Pancha's, 90th birthday! She looks awesome for being 90 years old. Anyway, they had her birthday party at Golden Coral and we got to see all of Vidal's family on his dad's side. It was great to see everyone and a lot of people hadn't seen Logan yet. He's a very popular little man. We also saw our old boss from Pizza Hut. It was kind of weird since he's still working so hard in the food industry. He looked a bit sad. Honestly, it reminds me how far we have come. Speaking of that, Vidal is applying soon for a manager position which would be absolutely awesome if he got! In a minute we're heading to go visit grandma at rehab and then to get Vidal a present for Father's Day. He did just get a Blackberry (got an awesome deal on it) and an MP4 player though so honestly, he's getting stuff he needs. He really needs a belt so he's getting that and possibly a new pack of undershirts and maybe a polo shirt if I find one in colors he will like.

--edited to add grandma pics

YAY!

Geese coming after us for bread. Don't feed the geese!

Feeding the ducks, doesn't Jaden look huge?

Logan after we got home, always smiley and sweet.

It's been a great day so far! On the way to swimming lessons I got a call from the insurance company that they have approved the growth hormone for Logan. WOOHOO! That is awesome news! The copay on it is only $50 for one month or $90 for a 3 month supply. We'll definitely be doing the 3 month supply. While Cristian was at swimming lessons I went to have Logan weighed and he was ........................................................................ 12 lbs 1 oz! That's a 5 ounce gain since last week. It should be correct too since he was just wearing a bumkins AIO and a onesie. Hopefully the rest of the day will have as much luck as the first part.



Rest of the Day:

Well, the rest of the day continued to be good. I took Cristian to his camp and went and got my hair cut. Thank goodness because my hair was getting nasty! Then we picked up Tia Janie and took her to my friend Ruth's house to look at her daughter's wedding dress which she will be altering. We also met Ruth's niece, Elizabeth and her nine month old son. He is also cloth diapered and it was so fun to meet another cloth diapering mom. She invited me to an attachment parenting group that she created so that ought to be awesome to meet like minded moms. I went to see grandma and then came back home and cleaned the kitchen. I LOVE it when my kitchen is clean, heck I love it when my house is clean. Then once it cooled off Vidal and I took the boys to the park and to the pond near it. They fed the ducks and geese and we learned never to feed geese because they will chase you and peck at you. I was about 2 seconds from kicking a goose in the head, LOL, cause it was attacking Logan and I.

6/10/08-Yesterday

Logan enjoying his first swing ride.

We were super busy yesterday. Cristian had his camp at the museum at 1 so we took him to camp. Then Jaden, Logan, and I met Vidal at Zarape (taco place) for lunch. We had a really nice lunch too. After that I took the boys to Barnes and Noble to get The Vaccine Book and to let Jaden play with the trains. He was so sad when I was ready to leave. But, he got over it soon when we went to the park. He played, and played, and played and got super red. Logan had his first swing ride and at first he didn't know what to think of it. He started crying then after a few seconds he started laughing and smiling. He ended up having so much fun! Then we went and picked Cristian up, got the boys a snack, and then took Jaden to his first drop off yoga class. Cristian was so upset because he can't go in the play area of Gymboree because he's too old. The funny thing is some of the 5 year olds that can go in weigh more than he does! Jaden had a REALLY good time and he wanted to go back ASAP. We came home and I made a very healthy meal of sloppy joes, LOL. But I did serve it with fruit!

Grandma went to rehab on Tuesday so hopefully she will get better soon and get moving! I miss her already but it is nice to have a little more freedom in the afternoons.

Nephrologist Appt

Huge frog that we found on our patio.

Vidal's hand above the frog, isn't it huge and yucky?

Logan had a nephrologist appt today. He was 11 lbs 11 oz, down 3 oz (darn it!) but his nephro. was very pleased that he had gained a lb in 3 weeks so all is good. He was 22 inches which means he must have shrunk, Dr. Al-Akash thought that was funny. He said he may be able to get away with no dialysis if he keeps up the good gaining and good labs. Awesome news! And we're starting growth hormone ASAP. It will be here on Thurs. The company is giving us a free 30 day trial to start him up and then hopefully ins will cover after that. He just has to make it to 20 lbs to qualify for a transplant. Once he hits 18 lbs he'll go on the list for a kidney and everyone will start bloodwork etc. although, best case scenario, the growth hormone will help grow his kidney larger. I have pics but I'll have to download them later cause dinner needs to be cooked. We found the ugliest toad outside today. Throwing in a pic of Logan and grandma.

6/8/08-Church

Sleeping boys before I woke them up for church.

Grandma

Yesterday was our pastor's last day. She's headed to San Marcos to help a church out over there. So we took the boys to church and it never fails that Jaden will say something hilarious but totally inappropriate at a very inopportune time. So, we're sitting in prayer and I'm thinking, hmmm...what's he going to say this time?---Jaden says, "Ta-da!" Also, just after the children's service where our pastor let them put their hands in the baptismal water he comes running back, "I got water on my hands mommy!" This kid cracks me up.

Nothing much here

Logan happily playing

Jaden super mad

Logan mad and Jaden over it--and Cristian always happy.

We've had a busy week but I really can't think of what all we did, LOL. The little boys were sick the first part of the week. We took grandma to a rehab specialist and as soon as they have a bed at the rehab hospital she will be going in patient for a few weeks for rehab. I'm kind of looking forward to the break in a way to just spend time with the kiddos. Cristian started swimming lessons again which he is LOVING again. He'll start camp at the museum next week from 1-4. Logan went to the dr on Tues but he was doing just fine. And of course right after I took him his fever went down on it's own. Why is it that every time I take a kid to the dr they get better right away? I wish that would work with Logan and his kidney. We see the nephrologist on Monday. All his labs looked his normal though so hopefully his weight will be satisfactory and it will be a nice visit. I'm a bit worried since with the fever his weight gain slowed a bit that he's going to want me to supplement. Hopefully not. I doubt he will make any changes to his meds unless his BP is high. Oh yeah, and his weight was 11 lbs 14 oz. He's so close to that 12 lb mark. I am willing him to be at least 12 lbs on Monday.

6-2-08-Sick kiddos : (

His poor little eyes look horrible.

Logan sleeping soundly, doesn't bother him any to be sick.

Jaden was pointing at me telling his daddy that I was taking pics of him. He said he was writing a card to mommy's friend for her birthday. So, if it's your birthday and I've forgotten, that card must be to you! : )

Finally I'm pretty much caught up on blogging and pics. The two little ones are sick today. Jaden had a fever the day before yesterday and then a VERY icky, runny nose yesterday and today. So, Logan caught his first cold. He started with a fever yesterday afternoon and now he's got a fever and a bit of an itsy baby runny nose. Poor little guy! I finally broke down and gave him some tylenol around 3 and he's been sleeping and breaking to eat ever since. He doesn't seem to be too bothered by being sick though. If the fever isn't completely gone by tomorrow I'll take him in to the ped. Cristian had his first day of swimming lessons. My mom took him though. I didn't want to take squish out in the hot with a fever. I'll get some pics of him at swimming as soon as the little guys are feeling better.

More swim pics

Rana-Roo all cold.

Jaden with his "I'm freezing" face.

Logan just chilling in his bouncer.

making spit bubbles.

The little ones ready to go inside for a nice warm bath.

5-29-08-Lab and weighing

Logan had labs on Thursday. He took it like a trooper, he had stopped crying before the needle was even out of his arm. We got the results back on Friday and they were great--for him anyway. We also weighed him and he was 11 lbs, 13 oz at the ped's scale. The silly guy scared me though cause he had forgotten to add the 1 lb and was saying he was 10 lbs 13 oz. Our ped saw us in the hallway and asked how much he had gained. When I told her that he had lost she said, "that doesn't sound right, he's looking so chunky." So she weighed him herself and he had gained a lb in 15 days. We came home and the kiddos went swimming in Logan's birth pool. While my cousin was here they swam in it a lot so I'll just put all the pics together.
Cristian and Maranda (on the bottom)

Cristian and Makayla

Logan and I (it was too sunny outside)

5-26-08-Memorial Day

The kids decided to dress up. Cristian and Jaden are dragons, Rana is a monkey, Makayla is Hannah Montana (in my maternity shirt), and Logan is a baby cow.

He couldn't care any less if we dress him up.

I let the girls give Logan a bottle of EBM for Memorial Day, they were so excited.

Logan chilling as usual and Makayla playing with my neighbor's dogs.

The family came over again for lunch. Everyone has to come to my house since I can't leave the house anymore on non-Grandma-daycare days. It was a nice time anyway though. Here's a pic of the kiddos eating lunch. Cristian didn't want to sit outside so he's absent from the pic.Jaden, Makayla, and Maranda (and Munchie)
--excuse the messiness of the yard.